If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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