I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
