Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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