Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
