The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
