youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
