so explain again why im purple
no
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
