It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
