do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
