She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
