is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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