she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
