I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
