We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The beer is more important than you right now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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