should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
