I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
