is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
