if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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