You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
