Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
