I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
