Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
