if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
