i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
MIDGETS
????
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
