we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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