The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
