i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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