then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
