yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
this is an emotional support booty call
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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