Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
