Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
