I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
