I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
