You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
