OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
