Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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