nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
