i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
