roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
