I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
