i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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