I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My cat gives me a boner
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
