Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
