sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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