Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize