do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
