Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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