How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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