I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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