We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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