I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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