He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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