He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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