did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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