If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
