there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
