so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
