I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
how drunk are you?
Several
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
