I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
