if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My dick has a subreddit
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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