Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im holly from the hills drunk
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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